Slowing Down

 My whole life I’ve felt like it was a race. In elementary school I needed to memorize all my times tables instantly and faster than everyone else. In middle school I needed to be in all the pre ap classes they would let me do so that I could be ahead academically. In high school I was racing to graduate and move as soon as I could. In college I fast tracked my 4 years so that I could graduate early and start working as soon as possible. Even now after I have graduated, I’ve been racing to buy every piece of furniture or decor I need for our apartment within the first week of living here. I even texted my mom that I finally hung up a picture and she responded with “you’ve only been there 3 days”. 

Since moving here, I’ve felt the urge to rush more than I have before and I don’t know why. Clayton started his new job this past Monday but I haven’t started yet. Being alone for more time has forced me to reflect on and rethink what I want to do each day. I was talking to Caitlyn yesterday and she was pushing me towards patience and relaxation for these days before I start working. She said to enjoy this season I’m in and that I’m going to miss having time like this for myself. So instead of trying to be ultra productive and driving myself crazy by myself, I need to work on developing some patience. Patience is something that I’ve never had and always struggled with. 

So today, against all of my instincts, I will be at the pool. I will rewatch as many episodes of Friends as I want. I will take a walk outside and listen to some good music. And I will count my blessings about this beautiful place that I live at and the life that I have. 




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